Ans.12: This question consists of three parts.

1)      The marriage contract – this happens before the man and woman consume their marriage. So the contract can happen a long time before the marriage is actually consummated such as was between the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and ‘Aisha (radhi Allaahu ‘anha) where the contract was made when she was six and was consummated when she was nine. So there was a three year gap between the contract and the consuming of the marriage. This happens a lot in places like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, India and it is a well known custom that the man cannot enter his new wife until he has the capability to do so. And this is usually based on reasons such as the dowry, a place to stay and other such reasons. So there is no problem if the woman stays with her family even if this is for a long period of time.

2)      The Waleemah (the wedding party) – as far as I know, this is wajib (obligatory) and it should be done with that which is easy upon him and not be extravagant if this brings hardship on him. This is based on our knowledge that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) had a waleemah for his wives. The foundation of this is that it takes place after the couple have consummated the marriage. However this depends on the custom of the people of that country as it could be that they do the waleemah the night that the man will be with his wife, before or after. And there is no problem with this.

3)      Furnishing the apartment and gifts – the foundation of this is that this is for the man to do. He is the one who should arrange this according to what she is used; to if however he cannot provide accommodation then the woman can help her husband. There is no problem for her to help him furnish the place that they will be living in.